Are You Doing 9 Mistakes In Conversation?
The way we communicate with others is a habit. Therefore, we often do not know whether the pattern of conversation that we are doing is good or not good.
In everyday life you definitely would often say to myself, "ah uncomfortable talking to the A, I better look for the B and talk to her."
I do not know your own entry into the category where: Person A or Person B, hopefully not the A because person A usually shunned by his friends.
If only you fall into the category of A, you do not need to worry because poor communication patterns can certainly be improved. Below are some common mistakes made by people with some solutions to fix it.
1. Do not Listen
Most people are not good listeners tipekal. This is of course related to their high ego, who actually want to be listened to than listen. In every conversation they did not hold to wait their turn to speak.
Learn to push your ego to listen seriously to what others say.
When you take a stand to start listening, you're paving the way for the creation of a relationship (of any kind) with huge potential. But still avoid short answers "yes" or "no", because if you like the other person that you would give half the information to you. Enthusiastic on the topic they are talking about, for example, if you're telling the other person about his experience hiking at the end of last week, you can ask him:
- What do you climb mountains?
- What is love of mountain climbing?
- What are you doing on the mountain?
Such questions will be made subject to the deeper, more interesting, and more fishing topics for discussion. And last but not least you know the other person that you really were listening. This of course will make the other person respect you grow on you.
2. Asking Too Much
Some questions may mean you are enthusiastic about your speaker, but too many questions finally be good because it seems like you're menginterogerasi your listener, and can make them uncomfortable.
Try to combine the statements and questions, for example:
- I had last week with a fishing weekend with my work friends. Do you like fishing?
3. Running out of topics to Talk
In conversation you may often feel out of topics to talk about with the other person, especially if you are talking to someone you just met. To prevent this from happening, there are some suggestions on topics that you can discuss:
- A wise man once said "Do not leave home without reading the newspaper first. If you run out of topics to talk about, you can begin to talk about the news that are hot right now. "
- Talk about the things that are around you. Probably about the aquarium that are behind you, the kids who were playing next to you, or whatever are allowed to talk about around you.
4. Submission of the Poor
One of the most important thing in communication is not what you say, but how you say it. Changes in habits make a big difference because the voice and body language is a very vital part in communicating. Some of the following for you to consider:
- Say it slowly. When you talk about something that is very fun, it's easy for you to start a conversation and even you can talk very quickly. You try to slow down the speed of your speech, because it will be easier for your listener to listen and capture the point you want to convey.
- Speak out loud. No need to hesitate, because the other person you really want to listen to you.
- Speak clearly. Do not like mumbling.
- Talk with a voice that is not monotonous. Involve emotion in your voice.
- Use the pause. Submission slowly coupled with breaks will make the other person to listen to you more attention and the atmosphere became more relaxed.
- Use good body language. In future articles, I will discuss how to use good body language.
5. Interrupting
Do you feel if you cut off the conversation by talking your opponent? ... Yes, your listener will feel the same if you cut him off. Let the other person do you spend in advance what you want delivered. It is a form of reward you on your speaker. Look for a balance between listening and talking.
6. Desire "Always Right"
People will not be impressed with you if you always want to be right in every conversation. Often the conversation is not really a discussion. Sometimes we want to keep the mood remains good to talk to someone. For example: one of the friends you want to talk to you about the thrill of rafting experience to the point that the rubber boat overturned. But you actually spoke of how good rafting. I'm sure your friend would mood immediately changed.
Sit relax, talk, and do not argue.
7. Talking About Stuff Weird or Negative
Have you ever met someone and after that he talked about strange things or negative, as his health deteriorated, the story of the murder, his supervisor that sucks, or use strange language that only he and his friends who know what it means.
I think there is no benefit to speak of things strange or negative way. People would love to talk to you if you always give positive energy to every word that you spend.
8. Boring
Do not talk long-term about your car you just bought your home or just completed. Average people are not too interested in that kind of story, which is too expose ability. Look for topics that lead to passionate things or funny things eg. Can you also tell me about your experience at the weekend summit yesterday or you plan on coming Lebaran holiday. The point is positive. Not also complain about your boss or your job.
Dale Carnegie once said:
"In 2 months you will have more friends by enthusiasm for their stories than 2 years you find friends by trying to lure them interested in your stories."
Try to give a more important role in talking to your listener. Later, you will build a quality relationship.
Maybe you've heard the term "why did God create two ears and one mouth? So we ... more listening than talking. :)
9. Do not Respond Well
If someone told me about his experience, do not just nod or respond with short sentences. Be open and tell me what you think. Express your feelings.
In closing, you do not have to fix all nine steps above at once. Choose approx 3 most important things that you think need to be fixed for 3-4 weeks and you try to do it continuously until it becomes a habit.
Hopefully these tips useful for you so that someday you can be a good friend to talk to your friends or your partner.
The way we communicate with others is a habit. Therefore, we often do not know whether the pattern of conversation that we are doing is good or not good.
In everyday life you definitely would often say to myself, "ah uncomfortable talking to the A, I better look for the B and talk to her."
I do not know your own entry into the category where: Person A or Person B, hopefully not the A because person A usually shunned by his friends.
If only you fall into the category of A, you do not need to worry because poor communication patterns can certainly be improved. Below are some common mistakes made by people with some solutions to fix it.
1. Do not Listen
Most people are not good listeners tipekal. This is of course related to their high ego, who actually want to be listened to than listen. In every conversation they did not hold to wait their turn to speak.
Learn to push your ego to listen seriously to what others say.
When you take a stand to start listening, you're paving the way for the creation of a relationship (of any kind) with huge potential. But still avoid short answers "yes" or "no", because if you like the other person that you would give half the information to you. Enthusiastic on the topic they are talking about, for example, if you're telling the other person about his experience hiking at the end of last week, you can ask him:
- What do you climb mountains?
- What is love of mountain climbing?
- What are you doing on the mountain?
Such questions will be made subject to the deeper, more interesting, and more fishing topics for discussion. And last but not least you know the other person that you really were listening. This of course will make the other person respect you grow on you.
2. Asking Too Much
Some questions may mean you are enthusiastic about your speaker, but too many questions finally be good because it seems like you're menginterogerasi your listener, and can make them uncomfortable.
Try to combine the statements and questions, for example:
- I had last week with a fishing weekend with my work friends. Do you like fishing?
3. Running out of topics to Talk
In conversation you may often feel out of topics to talk about with the other person, especially if you are talking to someone you just met. To prevent this from happening, there are some suggestions on topics that you can discuss:
- A wise man once said "Do not leave home without reading the newspaper first. If you run out of topics to talk about, you can begin to talk about the news that are hot right now. "
- Talk about the things that are around you. Probably about the aquarium that are behind you, the kids who were playing next to you, or whatever are allowed to talk about around you.
4. Submission of the Poor
One of the most important thing in communication is not what you say, but how you say it. Changes in habits make a big difference because the voice and body language is a very vital part in communicating. Some of the following for you to consider:
- Say it slowly. When you talk about something that is very fun, it's easy for you to start a conversation and even you can talk very quickly. You try to slow down the speed of your speech, because it will be easier for your listener to listen and capture the point you want to convey.
- Speak out loud. No need to hesitate, because the other person you really want to listen to you.
- Speak clearly. Do not like mumbling.
- Talk with a voice that is not monotonous. Involve emotion in your voice.
- Use the pause. Submission slowly coupled with breaks will make the other person to listen to you more attention and the atmosphere became more relaxed.
- Use good body language. In future articles, I will discuss how to use good body language.
5. Interrupting
Do you feel if you cut off the conversation by talking your opponent? ... Yes, your listener will feel the same if you cut him off. Let the other person do you spend in advance what you want delivered. It is a form of reward you on your speaker. Look for a balance between listening and talking.
6. Desire "Always Right"
People will not be impressed with you if you always want to be right in every conversation. Often the conversation is not really a discussion. Sometimes we want to keep the mood remains good to talk to someone. For example: one of the friends you want to talk to you about the thrill of rafting experience to the point that the rubber boat overturned. But you actually spoke of how good rafting. I'm sure your friend would mood immediately changed.
Sit relax, talk, and do not argue.
7. Talking About Stuff Weird or Negative
Have you ever met someone and after that he talked about strange things or negative, as his health deteriorated, the story of the murder, his supervisor that sucks, or use strange language that only he and his friends who know what it means.
I think there is no benefit to speak of things strange or negative way. People would love to talk to you if you always give positive energy to every word that you spend.
8. Boring
Do not talk long-term about your car you just bought your home or just completed. Average people are not too interested in that kind of story, which is too expose ability. Look for topics that lead to passionate things or funny things eg. Can you also tell me about your experience at the weekend summit yesterday or you plan on coming Lebaran holiday. The point is positive. Not also complain about your boss or your job.
Dale Carnegie once said:
"In 2 months you will have more friends by enthusiasm for their stories than 2 years you find friends by trying to lure them interested in your stories."
Try to give a more important role in talking to your listener. Later, you will build a quality relationship.
Maybe you've heard the term "why did God create two ears and one mouth? So we ... more listening than talking. :)
9. Do not Respond Well
If someone told me about his experience, do not just nod or respond with short sentences. Be open and tell me what you think. Express your feelings.
In closing, you do not have to fix all nine steps above at once. Choose approx 3 most important things that you think need to be fixed for 3-4 weeks and you try to do it continuously until it becomes a habit.
Hopefully these tips useful for you so that someday you can be a good friend to talk to your friends or your partner.
